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Adoptive parents (and their adopted kids) are often asked many questions. Some questions are legitimate and worthy of a serious answer. Other questions are well-intentioned, but at the same time somewhat rude and insensitive. Believe it or not, some folks do ask insensitive questions. Our responses range from serious, to tongue-in-cheek or sarcastic, depending on the question. Among the Frequently Asked Questions are the following, with Mommy and Daddy's reply:

Couldn't you have any of your own kids?

Sure we could! Couldn't you adopt any kids? And by the way...she is our own kid!

 

Is her father Chinese? (Becky is frequently asked this when she is not with Nick.)

Yes, and so is her biological mother.

 

Does she speak Chinese?

No, do you? Language is not inherited. It is a learned activity. She'll learn Chinese in due time.

 

Will Becca have any trouble learning English?

No! Actually, a lot less trouble than some people have asking intelligent questions.

 

Why didn't you adopt from the US?

There are far more babies overseas that need parents than there are in the US. Furthermore, US courts have recently shown themselves to be willing to take adopted children away from their adoptive parents, and return them to one or both of their biological parents. Since we are in this for the long haul, we want to know with certainty that Becca will not be torn from us.

 

OK, then why China?

Of all the nations with children needing parents, China is perhaps the most needy. There are about two million girls in orphanages right now, with 200,000 being added each year. China currently allows only nine other nations to adopt their children (of which the US is one). There's one more compelling reason: Chinese girls are the cutest on the planet!

 

Are you going to adopt another girl from China?

Yes we are! Our dossier is in Beijing as of this writing (November 2001), and we anticipate traveling to China in early 2002 to pick up our second daughter.

 

How long does it take to adopt?

A lot longer than it takes to have a kid the "regular" way! All told, it took us 22 months to get Becca, although some people have adopted from overseas in as little as 15 months. A lot depends on how easily things go with the INS, as well as with the host country.

 

Is she legally yours?

You bet she is!! The re-adoption in Texas is more formality than anything, with her US birth certificate being needed for a passport, driver's license, marriage license, and the like. The process to achieve citizenship was tedious. But legislation passed in 2000 made it automatic for international adoptees to become US citizens. Our second daughter will be a citizen when she lands here.

 

How much does it cost to adopt from China?

Chinese adoption costs vary considerably by agency. Most range from $12,000 to $20,000, and the level of service also varies considerably. We estimate our out-of-pocket expenditures were between $12,000 and $14,000.

 

 

 

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